I just got out of a viewing of "As We Forgive", a documentary about reconciliation in Rwanda after the genocide in 1994. I am amazed at the things that I have learned from viewing this documentary. My heart is in pieces as I watched several people's lives portrayed in front of me. Some of them had forgiven those that brought pain and death to their family members. And one particular set of people who struggled with the concept of forgiveness and releasing the angry that occurred over so many years and my heart hurts for these people. They ask how can this be possible when they have so much pain and so much angry towards that person and those others that caused so much pain and death all around them to those who were their neighbors. My heart is brought to the realization that I do this same thing. I have struggled for a number of years with forgiving certain people in my life due to things that have occurred in my life. These things have felt so huge and have felt like a mountain that I cannot climb ever. And while I have made some progress in this journey of forgiveness, my heart is still hard 90% of the time toward these individuals that have caused me pain and hurt. Tonight I realized something I think is significant in this journey with God and my journey of healing from these past wounds. As I sat there hearing these stories of many people, my heart was convicted. Here are these people who have had everything taken out from under them by their neighbors, those that they trusted and built relationship with, but yet they have found a way to love and to forgive and begin the process of healing from the past. And here I am struggling to forgive someone for a remark that was made on the phone to me or about me. Stupid, petty things that keep me from God and from a relationship with that person who I love so dearly but struggle to be around most of the time because of the past. It is amazing the understand of God that the Rwandan people have. A friend and I talked about this after the documentary and he said their view of forgiveness is this: Jesus came and forgave them, a sinner; so why shouldn't they forgive those that have killed their family members? Their concept of God and Jesus is so much bigger than my own, which is so crazy to me, seeing as they have nothing, they don't have a fancy school to go to in order to learn about God or the Bible, but they have experienced God's love and restoration and healing in a way that I cannot grasp one bit. And that is so humbling to me. It is also encouraging and challenging. I am so fortunate to live where I do, go to school where I do, have the rights and security that I do, and yet how often do I take it for granted? I skip class so often and I waste food and I do so much stuff that is not what a person in my position should ever do. So my challenge is what now? What will I do in order to see that things in my life change? How will I remember this and will I do something about it? Will I become a person who learns from these people? What difference can I make by knowing this knowledge? What will you do? This blog is just the begin of my journey of discovering who I am in this life and how I can help or impact someone. I pray that I would have people around me that would keep accountable in this process and challenge me.
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